Dark Day #2

 Dark Day #2 is today June 2nd

This is the day I believe he died and already left us. This day haunts me a lot. It plays over and over again in my mind like a horrible movie on endless loop. I asked him about the remote because he always had it. The look in his eyes scared me. He didn't sleep that night so I convinced him to lay down. Edgardo got him his bypap machine which he used when he slept. I watched him and at one point his neck stopped moving. He stopped breathing at home. I have never felt so helpless and hopeless at the same time in my life. I was at a loss of what to do or where to turn. I panicked and yelled for help as I was feeling his chest for movement and I couldn't feel any. My brother in law who was outside working on our van and my brother came in and put him to the floor. My brother in law called 911 while my brother did CPR. He was a junior member for NAVA and volunteered for them so I was confident that he knew what he was doing. We waited as paramedics worked feverishly on him thinking they were going to say that there's nothing more they can do. Then I am told that they got him back and were taking him to the hospital.

Because of covid I had to sit in a waiting room all by myself waiting to hear what would come next. I waited thinking that maybe he would make it and he would have a little more time with his children. The doctor finally came in to tell me that they had him packed in ice to help his blood pressure go back up and they were giving him quite a bit of medicine for that too. She said that it would go on for a little bit and then they would see how he would react to it. The doctor also said that his heart had stopped on the way to the hospital in the ambulance. It's less than a minute drive from the house. It was a little while later that I was told they were able to reduce the medicines which gave me hope that things were going in the right direction. They took him from the emergency room to the ICU so I went to be with the kids who were with my sister Danielle.